Understanding the Limits of Approval
In sports, parenting, and coaching, the idea that you can please everyone is simply a myth. Even in moments of great victory, universal approval is elusive.

A Lesson from 1984
Take the 1984 presidential election as a powerful metaphor. Ronald Reagan secured one of the biggest landslide wins in U.S. history—525 electoral votes to Walter Mondale’s 13. Yet, if you look at the numbers, Reagan won 54,455,075 out of 92,032,260 votes—that’s just 59% approval. In the grading system many of us grew up with, a 59% would barely pass or be a flunking grade. (The map is from 270towin.com)

What This Means for You
This example highlights that even with overwhelming support, there will always be dissent. In politics, where success is measured by votes (approval), even a “landslide victory” leaves a significant portion unaccounted for. If you base your self-worth solely on external approval, you risk feeling confident only 59% of the time—perhaps even less.

For athletes, parents, and coaches, this is a crucial insight:

• Athletes: Focus on your performance and inner drive rather than the cheers or criticism from the sidelines.
• Parents: Trust your instincts and values in guiding your children, knowing that you can’t meet everyone’s expectations.
• Coaches: Build teams on trust and self-belief, encouraging each player to value their own growth over universal approval.

The Path Forward
The key is to make decisions based on what you believe is right—not on the fleeting opinions of others. By doing so, you begin to build a foundation of self-security that isn’t dependent on achieving a perfect approval rating. Just reminding yourself that you can’t “get it all” (when it comes to approval) is a helpful step in starting down the path towards “self-security” rather than “approval-seeking” when it comes to your worth and confidence.

Stay tuned for next week’s blog, where we’ll dive into another step towards liberating yourself from the need for constant approval, which will help empower you to perform at your best in every area of life.

"Needing approval is tantamount to saying, “Your view of me is more important than my own opinion of myself.” - Wayne Dyer